STEEPED BY SAMIA #22 | 06.30.23
The world of Ghibli, a small town, and an elusive cat.
A cat has been hanging around my neighborhood for the past few weeks. I call them Toddler Cat. I’m not sure if they’re a stray or lost, or just a very adventurous outdoor cat. They seem young, maybe one or two years old (hence, the name Toddler Cat!).
Their coat is a mix of grey and black with a white belly — or at least I think it is, because Toddler Cat is so fast. They’re always running around, hiding under cars or disappearing into people’s yards. Sometimes, I catch a glimpse of them through the kitchen window, but when I go outside, they’re already gone. That elusive Toddler Cat!!
I spent my evenings in the world of Ghibli.
A couple of weeks ago, I watched most of the Studio Ghibli movies I haven’t watched yet: Whisper of the Heart (1995), Castle in the Sky (1986), Only Yesterday (1991), and The Wind Rises (2013), to name a few.
Whisper of the Heart (1995) won my heart. The blurb: “Challenged by Seiji, a boy set on following his dreams, bookworm Shizuku decides to embark on a quest to find her own true talent.” Each frame of the movie is crammed with so many lovely, intricate details — you can imagine I took so many screenshots (scattered throughout this post!).
I loved the atmosphere in Whisper of the Heart, especially the scene where Shizuku has to deliver her dad’s lunch to him at the library (he’s a librarian). When she’s sitting on the train, a cat walks in and sits next to her. When the cat exits, Shizuku chases him through town (such a Toddler Cat!), and stumbles onto something magnificent.
It’s a feeling I’m chasing: When life is light, buoyant, and filled with curiosity. When you finish work early and take a stroll to get ice cream on a summer afternoon. Or when you watch your cat stretch and curl up into a new dream. Sometimes, the feeling washes over you despite the surrounding circumstances that are causing friction or anxiety in your life.
It’s no surprise that I had a whimsical dream, around then.
In the dream, my brother and I are running through a huge library with an endless ceiling. Tall wooden bookcases, long study tables, gorgeous windows, the whole academia feel.
My brother tells me, “I know a short cut!” and we race down a giant, winding carpeted path, suspended in the air. It almost feels like a Sonic game, with the frame moving in different angles to capture the curve of the pathway.
We’re moving so fast, I end up falling off the path and into a bustling, miniature town, sectioned off in the middle of the library. As I fall, my body shrinks to the scale of the town. It reminds me of Professor Layton & the Curious Village, with sloped houses and cobblestone roads. I realize it’s a game world, of sorts.
My brother tries to rescue me by reaching a giant hand in and plucking me out, but some unknown force causes him to let go of me. I’m stuck in this game, in this little town in the library. I can’t really remember what happens next, but some time has passed.
I am fully immersed in this world when along comes a pair of twin sisters with red hair, who enter the game to rescue me?? Not sure how, but they succeed and I’m free. We return to the library years later to commemorate the moment. So Wild!
Oh, how I wish I can illustrate this dream like a Ghibli movie, dear reader.
We’re always balancing on a tightrope of sorts —
Between feeling content where we are in life (being the cat) and actively crafting our best possible lives (chasing the cat). It’s elusive knowing what causes us to lean into either state of being, or linger in one state for too long. I get a tingly feeling rereading my old journal entries and knowing now how my life has played out so far.
How much is really in our control? And what is the point, really?
I’ve read some amazing personal essays that speak to this specific mix of feelings, that I will leave you with for now:
I. How scary to be rather than aspire to be by Alya Mooro in The Greater Conversation on Substack:
“..how much safer it is to aspire to be, rather than actually be…In the aspiring comes a distance, between yourself and your actions, sugarcoated as they are by the fact that you’re not quite there yet, not quite that yet, only wanting to be.”
II. Solstice Walks by Kristin Posehn in The Pamplet on Substack:
“Fear loves to embellish itself, to embroider mini world-prisons for our protection. And I wonder, how do we slough off the thick, calcified fictions we’ve told ourselves about who we’re supposed to be, to uncover what we already are.”
III. Fire escapes in Human Stuff by Lisa Olivera on Substack:
“…it breaks my heart again and again, thinking about how easily the things we love can feel pointless because they’re so small, so insignificant in the grand picture, even though they are also so important, so necessary, so vital, a lifeline.”
Hope you see a cat on your next walk. ✨ —S.A.
🔗 Steep On This:
- A book: Mermaid in Chelsea Creek by Michelle Tea
- A song: One That Got Away by MUNA
- A TV show: The Other Two (HBO Max)
- An anime: Sakura Quest (2017)
- A newsletter: Human Stuff from Lisa Olivera
- A tea: BHO Seri Songket Lychee Rose Tea
💫 Catch Up:
05.31.23 | Find me among the star jasmine vines
STEEPED BY SAMIA #21: A life catch-up: May, movement, and musings.
💌 About This Blog:
Steeped by Samia is a space where I can simmer on thoughts & curiosities about life, liminal spaces, digital culture, & more. Far too often, my writing ideas fizzle out in energy; I never get to see them to their full potential. While building my rhythm with writing, I want to share these stories with you.
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